so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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