So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
