Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
