Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
