the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
