How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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