We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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