but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize