he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
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He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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