are you still at the devil's house?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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