11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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