hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
