Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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