he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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