I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
