the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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