pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
