when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
