Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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