do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
