My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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