life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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