I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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