I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize