I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
