I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
