just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
