Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.