Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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  (617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (754)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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  (313): so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal... http://tfl.nu/prbt
  Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (3177)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
  Replies (11) Good night (1236) Bad night (6072)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1151) Bad night (5663)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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  (704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1
  Replies (18) Good night (4136) Bad night (988)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

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  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1760) Bad night (1839)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

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  (217): I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition http://tfl.nu/xug9
  Replies (0) Good night (1154) Bad night (585)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

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  (315): Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years http://tfl.nu/qjp6
  Replies (12) Good night (2873) Bad night (654)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

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  (225): Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. http://tfl.nu/n4ph
  Replies (6) Good night (772) Bad night (1536)
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  (212): View more from New York

  All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it

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  (212): All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it http://tfl.nu/vzev
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (1137)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (963) Bad night (517)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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  (360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (400)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

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  (603): so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me. http://tfl.nu/37lj
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (788)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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  (208): I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw. http://tfl.nu/7hkg
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (283)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

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  (775): He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party http://tfl.nu/btv9
  Replies (8) Good night (482) Bad night (355)

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