How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
