I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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