I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
