i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
