a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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