If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Alive.
So much puke
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
