I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
