We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
