so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
