Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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