So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Are my feet made of real feet?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
