she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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