you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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