Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His nipple licking is glorious
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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