Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
