Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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