if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
