My friends, they love my intelligence
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
