i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He shit in the fireplace
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