He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When did angry sex become our thing?
My penis needs a shock collar
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
