you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
