I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize