Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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