i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's never too late to be topless.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
