I got chris browned last night
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize