any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
