Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
