the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I deserve to be covered in dicks
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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