It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
